Clark's Wolfman Lore

Main Attractions

Clark's Trading Post
110 Daniel Webster Highway
PO Box 1
Lincoln, NH 03251

email:
info@clarkstradingpost.com
phone: 603-745-8913

Wolfman

  • Wolfman
  • Wolfman
  • Wolfman
  • Wolfman

One of the favorite parts of the train ride for many passengers is coming face to face with the Wolfman. Wolfman has been chasing our train for decades, trying to scare people away from his Unobtanium mine. He never tires of using his many tricks to keep you off his land. Passengers get their chance to poke fun at Wolfman by yelling, "SCRAM YOU OLD GOAT!" This makes him very angry and he will chase the train all the way back to the covered bridge. Don't worry kids, Wolfman will not try to cross the bridge because he is too afraid of heights. He will not cross underneath the bridge because he is more afraid of water! In fact, Wolfman is so afraid of water that he hasn't taken a bath... IN YEARS! You will be returned safety to the beautiful Victorian train station where you can continue your day.

Note to parents: Please use your discretion for your preschool tots.

As the World debates the character of this famous backwoods recluse, our staff reporter (janitor and all round handyman) was able to obtain an exclusive interview with the "man" himself and report these hitherto unknown facts:

  • He does not have an offensive odor, at least to other woodland creatures.
  • His mean-ness is only outdone by his uglyness. His ability to fly off the handle has never been accurately measured. His appetite has kept all manner of small game and insects at a tolerable level.
  • Flat Wolman cut-outScience has never fully cataloged all the parasitic creatures which inhabit his personal self.
  • His legendary ability to hunt is only exceeded by his ability to evade taxes or any other form of payment for any goods or services.
  • His prolonged use of "Unobtainium" for various purposes has rendered him un-photographable due to severe auroscopicdihectofractionistic distortion.
  • He is known to like children although he prefers chicken or strawberries, in season.
  • Dogs don't bother him - more than once.
  • His IQ is apparently off the scale - which end is not quite clear.
  • He was evidently married at one time and still suffers from the effects.
  • It is not clear if "Wolfman" is his first name or last and he would not verify the rumor that he was once called Cedric, becoming quite huffy at the suggestion.

Hungry for more Wolfman?

Check out these culinary creations from the "man" himself. Braised Frog Legs, Porcupine Stew, Kitty Litter Cake. It's a daringly edible, collection of backwoods recipes direct from the campfire to your kitchen.

photo of the wolfman